Saturday, January 20, 2007

Day twentynine- only just here

Monday. Heidi is still with us but only just. She settled down last night after we went to bed. I had her in my arms all night and actually got a bit of sleep.
I don't think she has long left because her breathing is really irregular and her colour is really pale- almost blue at times. It is so hard to look at her and know she is dying.
One of Ds friends came over before and wanted to see her, but I said no because I feel this last bit of time is private and no one needs to see her like this. I am pretty much locking myself in the house and not answering the door to anyone apart from my dad.
As hard as all of this is, I am so glad we can do this in the comfort and privacy of our own house. It would be so much harder if we were still in the hospital. This way I get to be with her 100% of the time and everything is calm and peaceful. We are a complete family in our own home. No doctors or nurses, and we don't have to deal with any other issues. Just us.

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